Some words of mine, some titles by David Bowie

Tuesday, April 19th 2016

 

On 9th March 2016 I headed up to London by train for work related stuff and then to stay in town to see Adam Buxton’s sell-out BUG tribute to David Bowie at the Odeon cinema in Leicester Square.

As I travelled I thought about writing a piece peppered with Bowie song titles.

Then I started to grab titles at random from my iPod screen and started scribbling in a notebook…

 

 

I was feeling LOW today, so decided to travel STATION TO STATION to try to make myself feel more ALIVE and less of a SHADOW MAN.

Lately, my life has felt like I’M ALWAYS CRASHING THE SAME CAR and I just know that some CHANGES are needed. Not too sure why I’ve felt this way, but I KNOW SOMETHING’S GONNA HAPPEN (SOMEDAY). Doesn’t matter how I try to make things right, it’s like I’m PUTTING OUT FIRE (WITH GASOLINE) and then the flames rage all about me, for WILD IS THE WIND that whips around me like a WHITE LIGHT/WHITE HEAT.

I try to dodge the bad stuff, like bullets that fly my way. Okay, LET’S DANCE I say, JUMP, THEY SAY – but, no matter how I try and GOD ONLY KNOWS how I try, they continue to RICHOCET all around me.

IN THE HEAT OF THE MORNING, every morning, I’m out LOOKING FOR WATER. I don’t ask for much, just for those I love to NEVER LET ME DOWN. Many’s the time I feel I’m WALKING UP THE HILL BACKWARDS and sinking in life’s QUICKSAND, pulling me UNDERGROUND.

But I know I’LL SURVIVE.

 

TIME.

THAT’S MOTIVATION – the thought that TIME WILL CRAWL has long been cancelled out.

Maybe I need A NEW CAREER IN A NEW TOWN – a chance to have a BRILLIANT ADVENTURES and to explore THE MYSTERIES that might offer?

Maybe set a clock?

Assume I have just FIVE YEARS? Make that more generous perhaps, SEVEN ?

I can’t wait for someone else to do anything on my behalf, it’s not like I’M WAITING FOR THE MAN or for a shot at FAME.

I just don’t want to be THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD, or to mess up my future and not have my GOLDEN YEARS.

 

Just writing this down means I FEEL FREE but I realize IT AIN’T EASY, I’m not one of those SUPERMEN; even the fifteen minutes of success that ANDY WARHOL promised would be something.

 

Maybe a trip away is what I need.

Last year we loved our trip to AMSTERDAM and, a few years back, New York City really made us feel at home for a few visits – perhaps we were the YOUNG AMERICANS for a brief while.

 

I have no SENSE OF DOUBT that guys like me aren’t destined to be HEROES, but just take need to take pride in springing back from life’s challenges like a RUBBER BAND.

Maybe the time will come WHEN I LIVE MY DREAM, people will call me up and ask me to JOIN THE GANG, but KNOCK ON WOOD and wait – that’s just KARMA, MAN.

 

I’ve always needed to have my own SPACE. ODDITY, that may make me, but I’ve never been a REBEL. REBEL me would be like me TELLING LIES – just not my style.

But, is it too much to want A BETTER FUTURE? – A place where EVERYONE SAYS HI?

If I’M DREAMING MY LIFE then WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING? Is it SOMETHING IN THE AIR? Or am I just one of THE DREAMERS?

Some days are better, SOME ARE just REPETITION, days where there seems no WIN.

But, I guess that’s when you just have to HANG ON TO YOURSELF, AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN around you.

Wherever the strength is, WITHIN YOU or WITHOUT YOU, we just need to SHAKE IT OFF, raise the RED SAILS and move on for what could turn out to be a FANTASTIC VOYAGE after all.

No point in ever taking the line to LOOK BACK IN ANGER, we don’t have control over life’s playlist, not matter how much we want to be D.J.

 

WHAT IN THE WORLD can we do about it AFTER ALL?

It’s not like we have a SAVIOUR MACHINE if the world is going to hell because of ALL THE MADMEN pretty much DAY IN DAY OUT.

We may be the ZEROES, but LET’S DANCE, dance to the BEAT OF YOUR DRUM, be the SHINING STAR you want to be, even if LOVE IS LOST.

 

And, when THE STARS ARE OUT TONIGHT, look up and imagine a STARMAN, he’s DANCING OUT IN SPACE. Ask yourself WHERE ARE WE NOW? HOW DOES THE GRASS GROW and, when YOU FEEL SO LONELY YOU COULD DIE, turn up the HEAT and (YOU WILL) SET THE WORLD ON FIRE – at least that’s the PLAN.

 

So, push aside any SORROW and try to discount what may happen; THIS IS NOT AMERICA, where a larger than life character is currently spouting all but the very words ‘I’M DERANGED’ – we know he is.

I’M AFRAID OF AMERICANS – well, some of them recently anyhow – makes me wonder WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD TIMES GONE?

 

I’m not THE LONELIEST GUY IN THE WORLD, but I have my DAYS – I’m sure we all do – that’s the REALITY of it all. Sometimes I’m sure we all feel UNDER PRESSURE and pray we NEVER GET OLD and SLIP AWAY.

But IT’S NO GAME, life is full of SCARY MONSTERS (AND SUPER FREAKS) – we SCREAM LIKE A BABY then we grow to become part of the TEENAGE WILDLIFE, all the time never wanting to think about MY DEATH or yours.

ANYWAY, ANYHOW, ANYWHERE, it’s not as bad as things could get – it’s not all 1984 and BIG BROTHER, maybe it’s HARD TO BE A SAINT IN THE CITY but at least this place isn’t SUFFRAGETTE CITY – at least not yet, but I do have AN OCCASSIONAL DREAM where it is and I’m no longer a plain WILD EYED BOY FROM LONDON TOWN.

And from up there, from the lofty heights where I stand – I (DON’T SIT DOWN) – I look out but I DON’T LOOK DOWN, for GOD ONLY KNOWS what would happen if I did – perhaps I’d TUMBLE AND TWIRL to the streets below. I fear that, a lot – like there’s a NEIGHBORHOOD THREAT and, of all nights, TONIGHT that feeling is very strong indeed.

 

There are things I clearly have a FASCINATION with – all things science fiction for example. LOVING THE ALIEN might sum it up best. I wished I’d been around in the fifties and in the US to experience sci-fi movies at the DRIVE IN. SATURDAY nights must have been amazing back there and then.

 

RIGHT now, I feel I’m right ACROSS THE UNIVERSE, tapping out these words in the hope that SOMEBODY OUT THERE LIKES ME. CAN YOU HEAR ME?

 

Come on, let’s talk about things – don’t worry, I’m not a CRACKED ACTOR or something, or about to give you my FAREWELL SPEECH. But, LET’S SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER, I can hear all about your MEMORY OF A FREE FESTIVAL and ALL THE YOUNG DUDES that were there and how they were so spaced out they spent forever discussing how best to work out the WIDTH OF A CIRCLE.

 

But, I need you to know something – I CAN’T HELP THINKING ABOUT ME and from time to time, when I look to the sky, trying to work out which is the PRETTIEST STAR, I succumb to dreaming – a MOONAGE DAYDREAM, and that’s when I see him – a figure in the corner of my eye, all bright colours and sound. SOUND AND VISION personified.

IT AIN’T EASY to say or think it, but I think we all need to WATCH THAT MAN.

He appeared like magic, a JEAN GENIE from that lamp owned in the fairy tale by ALADDIN. SANE I may no longer be as a result of his appearance.

 

Some have said he fell, fell from a STAR, that his name is ZIGGY STARDUST, perhaps he came here looking for his LADY. STARDUST he may be, but I think there’s more to him – a lot more.

I think he’s been around forever, and keeps coming back, perhaps a LAZARUS –like figure. Not something I thought I’d hear myself say, thinking I’d always been a HEATHEN, but there’s something about him, something that’s been coming to me like a SLOW BURN. I heard he made it big in the US – caused something of a PANIC IN DETROIT. If nothing else, I WISH YOU WOULD see the SHAPES OF THINGS as I do, I CAN’T EVEN EXPLAIN why, but that would be a good CONVERSATION PIECE with which to start talking about ALL THE MADMEN who go ROUND AND EOUND in my head a lot of the TIME.

 

But, I don’t want you to be AFRAID. I’ve heard all the comments, HALLO SPACEBOY etc, that would do me from now until SUNDAY.

We can hide, all of us, in THE MOTEL, STAY there while THE BATTLE FOR BRITAIN rages about us.

Promise we’ll NEVER GET OLD, that we’ll just thrive, together. Let’s SLIP AWAY and have our DOLLAR DAYS until KINGDOM COME.

You know why?

BECAUSE YOU’RE YOUNG and because

I CAN’T GIVE ANYTHING AWAY.

Fade to BLACK.STAR

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